Feelings and Tables


Nothing and no one lasts forever.

Feelings change.

Tables turn.

I try to remember this on my good days and it is so hard to imagine this being true on my worst days.

I can remember being so in love that I moved across the country to live out that dream. Only to end the relationship weeks later and now, have no contact with the “love of my life”. I’ve learned that feelings change.

Like I don’t even listen to Beyonce’ anymore and she used to be the only one on my ipod. I’d speak of her as if she were me and one day that suddenly seemed crazy. I dropped Ms. Sasha Fierce like a bad habit. Yes, music was my bad habit.

I’ve had other bad habits too. Some have probably included you too.

Like craving cheesecake and milkshakes until I had gained so much weight my clothes began to stretch, like my skin. Bear claws, like the donuts I ate.

And then there’s that time I lost my keys and my mind shortly after. Brained scrambled, like eggs and my legs shaking… I’ve never felt so unstable, out of my element, out of control.

I had become one of those materialistic people and it was affecting my soul.

I had to relearn who I was and whose I was. More importantly, whose I wasn’t.

I became one of those “pray for me” people. They wanted me numb. I got tired of playing dumb.

And when I talked to God he understood and explained that no one else would but not to fret

Their opinion is not a threat so you don’t have to fear what they don’t know

But life is unpredictable and sometimes, that rug is pulled so swiftly from underneath you the dust settles before you do

and there’s no where to go

So while you’re sitting on your ass just know,

Everything they’ve done to destroy you is gonna help you grow






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