4 Ways I Protect My Energy While Accomplishing My Goals

entrepreneurship, organization


It has been said that you become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. So think about that. You are the average. This means some people are high frequency and others are low frequency and you are in between. You take in the characteristics, behaviors and choices of your friends. This is not to say they are actively pressuring you to do so, but this happens both consciously and subconsciously. 
There’s a book by Walter C. Willer called Thinfluence: Thin-flu-ence (noun) the powerful and surprising effect friends, family, work, and environment have on weight. The subtitle basically says it all. Want to lose weight? Hang around people who are in shape. Want to be successful? Hang around people who are. 
At times we get distracted. Our goal is to save money and our friend says, “hey girl, BBD going on tour.” And you think, “Omg I love BBD. That New Edition Movie had me hype. I HAVE TO GO TO THIS!” So you drop that $100 on the ticket then you spend the rest of your work day shopping online for the perfect outfit. You call your hairdresser and make an appointment. And already you’ve gone from 2017 will be the year I save and invest to where did that $500 go? 

INFLUENCE.
Maybe you’re starting a business which requires research, creating content, scheduling social media posts, sketching designs, etc. So you’ve set aside time to do just that. Then your cell phone rings. “Hey, wyd?” Your gut reaction is to say “nothing”. But of course, you’re doing something; something really important to you and for your future. Now the caller/texter on the other side of the phone has the green light to GO IN and that they do. Hours later you’re staring at your computer screen with nothing done and now, Scandal is on so this will have to wait until tomorrow to finish this very important work task. Where did the time go? I need more than 24 hours in a day, you say. 
I give those examples because they are common. The prople we love want our time and rightly so. But do y’all want these goals or nah? It’s not fool proof but, the more we can align ourselves with people who have what we want or on the path to getting where we’re trying to go, the easier and quicker our success will come. This means finding people who VALUE what you value. 

I recently stopped eating pork. And even though my mother says she understands she truly doesn’t get why is so such a thing. What did pork ever do to me? So when I tell her I don’t eat pork, it doesn’t change the fact that she’s put on a roast for Sunday and invited me over. Does that make sense? If it is something I value, it’s up to me to make the decision not to indulge. Likewise, you’ve expressed to friends and family that you are committed to losing weight and are on a strict diet. This will not stop them from inviting you to Applebee’s on a Friday night. It’s your value not theirs. Just like a friend of yours may value going to church everyday whereas for you, listening to Kirk Franklin on the way to brunch is enough.
Just because your values are different doesn’t mean you can’t be friends. But you should stick closest to those who share your values so that they may, in the words of Oprah, life you higher.
So where do you find such people? How do you identify your tribe?
Here are a couple different ways

1. Read.My search for positive influence came through reading. I started reading books by people I admired. Reading books always connects you to other books and other authors which “influences” who I follow on social media, what I watch on YouTube, etc. 

2. Ask. Create a post on social media that says. “I’m looking to connect with people who ________ Please tag who you know.” Believe it or not, your current network can help you expand and/or strengthen your new network.

3. Meetup.com There are thousands of groups listed for whatever you’re into. I’ve found, that the paid groups are more serious and meet more consistently. I’ve joined book clubs, running clubs, parenting meet ups, etc on this platform. At one point I even created a group of my mom for mothers who were also entrepreneurs. 

4. Work. If you want to be a boss one day, hang out with other bosses. Perhaps, your current boss. Go the extra mile, attend conferences and company events. Network with the higher ups and learn. Let them know your goals. They may be willing to help, mentor or provide you with resources.

LAST POINT. Remember that while people are constantly influencing you and your life, you’re giving out your energy to others. Are you a positive or negative influence in the life of others’? What type of impression are you looking to leave? What small thing can you do to affect someone’s life in a meaningful way.

PEACE ✌🏾#BrandyWasHere 

Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop

business, entrepreneurship, organization

diddycswsMany of our heroes express gratitude and humility in awe-inspiring ways, but humble is not a word I’d use to describe Sean “Diddy” Combs. Out the gate he had something to prove and was determined not to stop until it was done. His mantra “can’t stop, won’t stop” essentially became the creed of young hustlers and go-getters everywhere!

It takes a lot to follow a vision that no one sees but you and he did JUST THAT. Despite rumors, arrests, fainting loyalty he crafted a record label that is internationally known and recognized. That provided the opportunities to impart knowledge and success into the careers of dozens of people signed to Bad Boy Entertainment and hundreds of others who have worked for and with Mr. Combs. It also open doors for film, television and world tours. Bad Boy is a dynasty whether you like it or not.

The release of the documentary, Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop chronicled the journey to craft and present the Bad Boy Anniversary Tour. This one hour documentary served as a window into Combs’ values, processes and business acumen. Here are five absolute gems I found in the film. I hope you can learn something from it. Oh, and watch the documentary!

  1. Make Your Purpose Crystal Clear

One of the things Diddy says in the film is that when he first got the idea for Bad Boy he knew he wanted to be different. Instead of following the emerging trend of gangsta rap, he knew he wanted to make people dance and have a good time. Now think of iconic Bad Boy songs like “Hypnotize”, “Feels So Good” and “Only You”. The music certainly matched the mission and so did the style, the visual details and the personas. Because his purpose was clear, the foundation that he built was unshakable. Have you identified your unique gift to the world? What’s your purpose?

2. Opportunities Are Greater Than Money

Diddy interned for Andre Harrell for two years without pay. In that time, he was able to learn the music business and network with up and coming artists. Here, he perfected his grind and his idea for a record label of his own. Are you taking advantage of opportunities that can challenge and grow you into the person you want to be?

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3. Fight For What You Want

At times the vision became cloudy especially as controversy began to creep into the company. The very image Diddy was trying to avoid seemed to chase them down as a friendship between Biggie and Tupac became vicious. But this didn’t deter Diddy was his mission. In fact, it urged him to fight harder, do more, connect on a higher level. He was able to constantly brand and re-brand Bad Boy as the premier record label for not only hip-hop artists, but young professionals. How are you pushing through circumstances to achieve your goals?

4. Don’t Stay in Your Lane, Explore the Entire Highway

Diddy began managing artists and dabbled in producing and directing music videos. The clarity of his vision served to make him a curator of content which allowed him to easily traverse between roles. Yes, he was always dancing in the music videos, but he was also sitting at round tables negotiating deals, making hit records, designing clothing (Sean John), opening restaurants (Justin’s) and producing tv shows (Making the Band). While all of these entities are distinctly different they fall under one umbrella, Bad Boy. The brand’s image was strong enough to be translated in any industry. Because of his fearless, Diddy was able to make his record label a global entertainment brand. Are you limiting your talents to just one arena?

5. Build a Team That Believes in You

Don’t surround yourself with people who want to get ahead or make money. But make sure there are people on your team who believe in YOU, the creator of the brand. If they buy into you, they will do whatever it takes to make your vision come alive. This is crucial to Diddy’s success. In the film, Mase explains that Diddy brought artists into bad boy under the premise that if they trusted him he would make sure they were legends. And…the rest is history. Does your team trust you?

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I’ve run out of goals 

business, entrepreneurship, organization

Impossible, I say. But as I opened up my Passion Planner last week to conduct my mid-year check-in, I stared at the page….and stared at the page. 

What do you want, Brandy? What will be your BIG push for the second half of the year? What’s on your list?

Nothing…

Sadness came over me. Am I finished? I thought, but pushed the idea aside. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been chasing one goal after another; accomplishing and failing; starting and restarting; learning and growing. I’ve read countless books about goal-setting, success, mindset and all the woo-woo pseudo scientifically texts about attraction and manifesting you can name. I wouldn’t say that I’ve mastered these systems but my skillset has grown and I have evidence to the effect that I make more shots than I miss. 

Almost two years ago now I did the possible and quit my full-time teaching job. Ha! What an adventure that has been. Anyways, when I did, I hit the goriund running overachieving and overworking myself into the ground. 2015 was my year! My side hustle became my main thing Anf I was roooolllliiiiinnnn! Cloud 9.

So what happened? 

I finally started to grow into the person I’ve always wanted to become. I mean, things I envisioned for myself as a child finally came into fruition. I am, in many ways, living my dream. So at some point…I stopped dreaming.

Don’t get me wrong, on a smaller scale there are still things I want to do (spa days, girls trip, tattoos, save money, etc). But the big, hairy, omg scary goals…. I can’t think of any.

I can’t think of any because I never thought beyond THIS, what I have right now. My whole life I’ve been focused on “getting there” and now I’m here. I never thought about what to do once here. I am reminded of the adage “what got you her won’t keep you here”. Although I think this is supposed to bring me solace, it makes me uneasy. What do I do now?

I decided to control what I can and not stress it. The other day I gave my sister-friend the gift of “yet” and with it, the power to control what is immediately in your control. So, I decided to give myself that gift as well. 

For too long I’ve lived each day truly like it was my last and worried that if I made one misstep or took my eyes off the road to blink I would die…literally. I think at 30 years old, I deserve to not have everything figured out. I will take this time however to learn me and evaluate what makes sense in my life and what my next step will be. Right now no goals, just a commitment to live my best life – on my terms. #BrandyWasHere