I’ve run out of goals 

Impossible, I say. But as I opened up my Passion Planner last week to conduct my mid-year check-in, I stared at the page….and stared at the page. 

What do you want, Brandy? What will be your BIG push for the second half of the year? What’s on your list?

Nothing…

Sadness came over me. Am I finished? I thought, but pushed the idea aside. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been chasing one goal after another; accomplishing and failing; starting and restarting; learning and growing. I’ve read countless books about goal-setting, success, mindset and all the woo-woo pseudo scientifically texts about attraction and manifesting you can name. I wouldn’t say that I’ve mastered these systems but my skillset has grown and I have evidence to the effect that I make more shots than I miss. 

Almost two years ago now I did the possible and quit my full-time teaching job. Ha! What an adventure that has been. Anyways, when I did, I hit the goriund running overachieving and overworking myself into the ground. 2015 was my year! My side hustle became my main thing Anf I was roooolllliiiiinnnn! Cloud 9.

So what happened? 

I finally started to grow into the person I’ve always wanted to become. I mean, things I envisioned for myself as a child finally came into fruition. I am, in many ways, living my dream. So at some point…I stopped dreaming.

Don’t get me wrong, on a smaller scale there are still things I want to do (spa days, girls trip, tattoos, save money, etc). But the big, hairy, omg scary goals…. I can’t think of any.

I can’t think of any because I never thought beyond THIS, what I have right now. My whole life I’ve been focused on “getting there” and now I’m here. I never thought about what to do once here. I am reminded of the adage “what got you her won’t keep you here”. Although I think this is supposed to bring me solace, it makes me uneasy. What do I do now?

I decided to control what I can and not stress it. The other day I gave my sister-friend the gift of “yet” and with it, the power to control what is immediately in your control. So, I decided to give myself that gift as well. 

For too long I’ve lived each day truly like it was my last and worried that if I made one misstep or took my eyes off the road to blink I would die…literally. I think at 30 years old, I deserve to not have everything figured out. I will take this time however to learn me and evaluate what makes sense in my life and what my next step will be. Right now no goals, just a commitment to live my best life – on my terms. #BrandyWasHere

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